Anxious about AI

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris 

New technology has always stirred up fears and worries about possible dangers, how it will be used, by whom will it be used, and the question: what’s next?

Artificial Intelligence

Get Grounded

We cannot think our way out of anxiety, instead we must focus on calming our body and mind first. Once we feel calm and collected, we can focus, get informed, and make informed decisions on how to move forward.

Be Mindful

Use your self-care tools to bring yourself back into balance.  You’ve got a beautiful toolbox in which you have your breathing techniques, yoga tools and more to help keep you grounded within yourself.

Set Intentions

Choose how to engage with technology

You are in control of how you interact with it.  If you feel that you are unable to stay grounded, repeat one of your favourite breathing techniques.

Set Limits

This is the part of helping yourself where you commit to using AI 15 minutes every day, no matter what.  Practice does actually make perfect, and you need to look at this as a training.

Acceptance

AI has been around in different forms for a while. A constant in the world is innovation and change. We need to look at what is happening and accept what is happening without running away with our imaginations. We don’t have to agree with everything, but the best path forward is knowing the lay of the land.

Get Informed, Quality Over Quantity

Less is More. Research AI using trusted source materials. Reading every article is a compulsion that will drain and exhaust vs. reading from trustworthy sources on AI.

Practice to become more familiar and get a better understanding of how AI works. You can use AI the way you would use a search engine for nuanced questions via prompts. Ask it to make a recipe using ingredients you have while avoiding specific food allergens. Make a cover letter for this job using this resume, then give me a mock interview. AI can be a helpful tool. Practicing something you’re unfamiliar with takes some of the fear out of the unknown and puts you in control.

Challenge Fears

A common fear is we will be replaced with AI. IBM’s Deep Blue Artificial Intelligence defeated a chess grandmaster in the late nineties, yet people still play chess and AI has become a useful tool and worthy opponent to practice against. In many ways AI has enriched the game.

We must be willing to envision a more positive or balanced future in order to bring that into existence. We need people using innovations to help each other. We need to dream up ways to regulate AI in ways to stay ethical and not violate people’s personal freedoms, creative identities, and rights to privacy.

When automobiles were introduced, there were very tangible problems and dangers. We progressively introduced regulations, safety features, designs, and infrastructures to promote safety. There is still much that could be improved on this end, such as calls to increase public transport that carries more individuals effectively, promotion of more bike greenways, and designing walkable cities.

Addressing Fears and Seeking Solutions

The fear of being replaced is at the heart of many concerns. Workers fear being replaced and losing their livelihood. This triggers our survival instincts: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. We need to check in with ourselves and use tools to self-regulate.  What can we do to feel more confident in ourselves and our abilities? Are there new skills we can learn that will make us stronger and help us feel more in control?

There are fears that AI will replace artists or create copy versions of people’s carefully crafted works and essentially steal individuals' identities. This is a new ground for both public opinion and policy on what we will accept or reject in AI behavior. How do we hold AI companies accountable to respecting people’s rights? We also have the ability to innovate art and make it more accessible for some to put their ideas to life. The printing press changed art by making it easily reproducible, yet artists continue and adapted to the new technology.

The environmental impact of AI is rarely discussed, but a great deal of tangible energy and mined materials are used in AI. We need to create safer working conditions throughout the supply line in AI as well as in all fields of production. We need AI companies to take equally tangible measures to reduce the negative environmental impacts. We do need inventors and creators who are working to make quality products and not settle for forced obsolescence.

When we feel feelings of fear come up we can get curious. The fear of change and the unknown is completely normal, and throughout history there has always been change.

Call for Accountability, You have the power to speak up

When we see violations to our rights we do need to speak up and hold each other accountable. There are legal grey areas in regards to malfunctions with self-driving cars. One needs to accept that companies making self-driving cars may be trying to evade responsibility for malfunctions, and thus, they as non-driving individuals may be held liable for their cars’ accidents. We can accept information on current policies and choose if we feel safe buying a self driving car from companies. We can push for legislation to change if companies are acting irresponsibly.  And the same goes for AI. 

Build Your Strength

Pause before engaging with your phone or devices. An exercise to quickly regulate yourself:  Notice 5 things you see; notice 4 things you feel touching your body; notice 3 things you hear; notice 2 things you smell; notice 1 thing you can taste. Set an intention for what you want to do with AI. Set a limit for how much time you will spend on a task before taking a break from your device to do an enjoyable activity.  And breathe as you train yourself to relax into your use of AI.

Feel free to share your story with us.

www.ChristineHarrisTherapy.com Let’s connect!

The How To of Positive Psychology

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

People commonly associate Positive Psychology with optimism and mind over matter. It is more complex and involved than saying or thinking “good thoughts”. Positive Psychology attempts to achieve happiness by doing: practicing gratitude, genuine self-examination, and self discipline.

We can use Positive Psychology to prioritize happiness in both the present and build strengths to fulfil personal goals for the future. To be successful involves consistent work everyday. 

There is an overload of negative messages in the news and media that can subconsciously cause us to shutdown or lose faith in people or the world. To challenge downtrodden views by sensationalist media is important. Realistically, the media tends to express extremist views that sell fear and insecurity. Think of reality television; a balanced view is considered boring, although pragmatism and stability are arguably more enjoyable. Changing the way you think, optimising what you do, and spending your time better create a path to happiness.

Set goals. Identify what you most want to change or improve in your life and create a goal to work towards achieving that purpose. Don’t stress, this does not have to be your life’s purpose. It can be simple or complex, and you can tweak it as you go.

Make room for ritual. Schedule daily and weekly activities to make yourself happy and for your personal well-being. Organise them at regular times throughout your day. Stick to these goals even if you don’t feel like it. Chances are you won’t feel like doing things, pleasurable or challenging, until you create a habit. It takes roughly a month to create a habit. It could be doing YouTube dance tutorials for 30 minutes every day (with breaks and modified as needed) and going to an Improv class once a week.
Say mantras. Repeat a phrase that you want to embody, you can tie it into your meditation practice, say it to yourself on your drive or in the shower, or for daily motivation. It’s important to identify a belief you want to change or a goal you want to accomplish; cater your mantra to you. For example, If you feel weak say I am strong. Breathing is easy. Exercising is easy. I love myself deeply. Using prompts like saying your mantra when you enter a doorway, see or hear someone laugh, see or hear an animal, or when you look at your phone will assist in staying on task, creating the habits and optimising your brain.

Exercise. Your mind and body are connected. Consistently dedicating 30 minutes of your day to light or moderate exercise has countless positive effects on your mood, body, mind, and stamina. Keep searching for a way to move that works for you. Don’t stress about your ability; focus on improving upon what you can do. Yes, some people go to the gym and deadlift 35 stone, but you can get strong increasing your reps of small barbells, swimming, yoga, dance, tai chi, or whatever interests you.

Express gratitude. Express what you are grateful for each day. Be grateful to yourself for working on self-improvement and prioritizing your happiness and well-being.

Learn to Fail Forward. Taking risks and failing make you a stronger person, now more capable to fight bigger battles. Playing it safe and striving to stay in your comfort zone is a commitment to failure. If you never muster up the courage to put yourself out there, you will definitely fail. If you strive and challenge yourself, you will experience some failure and some success. You will progress in a positive direction. You will be stronger, and who knows, you may live your dream. Don’t roll over because you are afraid of failure; roll the dice.

““[I]t’s not necessarily going to work out the way you want it to work out, but it is taking you forward, and you are leaving the nest. And that never can be a mistake—to fly instead of staying in the nest with all the poop and everything that’s in there.” ”

— Quote SoPema Chödrön, Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better: Wise Advice for Leaning into the Unknownurce

Build Your Strength. In your journal write down your main goals: what you want to focus on create, become, or what you want to heal or repair in your life. Make rituals, realistic daily goals, and set aside dedicated time to focus exclusively on those goals. Meditating when you wake up or light exercise before breakfast are excellent. Pair an activity with something you already do, like practicing mantras, quick exercises, or breathing exercises while you wait on the tea kettle. Be consistent. Organise these into a daily checklist and hang it where you will see, do, and check off your accomplishments everyday.

Positive Psychology Meets the Pity Party

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

To someone with or without Fibromyalgia “How are you doing?” can come off as small talk, an invitation, or a loaded question. It can feel like an obligation to say you’re fine for others’ supposed benefit; an excuse to list ailments and woes; or  even elicit a complicated social panic.

Expression is massively vital to well-being. Letting out your feelings and running with your personality are paramount to happiness, but where is the line? What is the difference between having a pity party and expressing all of your feelings?

Expression starts with you. Often we mask how we truly feel. Finding a healthy way to listen to your mind and body is vital to expressing yourself. Discovering positive ways to honestly express yourself can take on a journey of its own.

Set intentions. Are you trying to solve a problem or brag about it? If you’re competing for sympathy, it’s time to stop. Making someone feel bad for you, will not make you feel any better; that’s not the type of validation to strive for. Focus on positives. It could be as simple as a recipe or something you saw out your window. Tell a joke that made you laugh. 

Be proactive. Have you found something you enjoy or that gives you relief? Share it! Focus on steps to take care of yourself: sticking to a doable exercise plan, exercising gratitude for what you do have, making healthier choices, and prioritizing what makes you happy.

Practice Positive Psychology. Focus on Self-Love; Focus on bettering your future. Let go of the past along with anything not serving you now. Old scores are not present, move on, do what you can now.

“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin
As self-neglecting.”

— Henry V, William Shakespeare

Build Your Strength 

Slow down your breathing. Take a deep breath for a count of 5, hold it, then let it out to a count of 10. Do this breathing exercise 5 times in the morning and five times at night. It’s great to do if you’re stressed, waiting on something, or whenever. Try this Polyvagal breathing exercise everyday for 2 weeks, and see how you feel. 

Responsibility for Me

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

Responsibility may sound daunting.  That’s because it takes courage and compassion.  While we wage our daily battle, we know fortitude perhaps more than anyone.  It lends a sense of agency, accomplishment, and independence to take responsibility for ourselves within our ability.

Dictionary.com defines responsibility as “the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.”  To do that it’s vital that we  understand what is within our realm of responsibility and ability.  We need to be compassionate for ourselves, and realistic with managing expectations.

Taking personal responsibility for yourself often involves stepping back and allowing other people to take responsibility for themselves.  It’s so important to allow your loved ones and people you spend time with to make their own choices and to care for themselves,  even if you don’t personally agree with their decisions.  People need to make mistakes, own up to the consequences, and clean up the mess – it’s all about learning.  It can be incredibly difficult not to offer your services to friends and family in the form of advice, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, favors, cleaning their dishes, and everything else under the sun.  Sometimes we take on more than we can chew, including tasks others need to accomplish for themselves.  If we do someone's homework,  how will they manage to learn and accomplish the next day’s assignments? 

If you begin to feel worn out emotionally, physically, or mentally it’s incredibly important to take care of yourself and take a moment for yourself.  It is not selfish to choose self-care first –  it’s empowering.  Saying no can mean saying yes to yourself, to relaxing, to enjoying how you spend time versus overdoing it.  We build trust by communicating, taking responsibility, and being genuine.

Step forward and do what you can.  When you become overwhelmed or annoyed it’s time to step back.   You don’t want to give so much of your energy that you feel taken advantage of or feel resentful.  The point is to contribute freely and responsibly.

Build Your Strength: In your journal list responsibilities for you and prioritize. Cross out other people’s responsibilities and issues outside of your control -- You can even make a list of tasks not to take on and burn it to let go.

Step Forward, Step Back.

Lockdown on Beauty Care

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

We are experiencing a wide range of reactions about changing beauty routines due to sheltering in. Some report feeling liberated to relax makeup, hair dyes, products, unnatural materials, and heavy metals. Not going out as much and working from home has allowed many the opportunity to opt for a more comfortable style. Some enjoy being able to express their gender freely and openly without feeling judged or the need to perform. 

Others are hit hard by the Zoom Factor, are hyper zoomed in on any perceived facial flaw, and feel more self-conscious than ever. Some are disengaging from social media, while others are more active than ever on dating apps, social networking, or Zoom meetings that place the face as a strong focal point. 

Whether you’ve been feeling liberated or exposed, it’s worth experimenting with your beauty routine to find out what makes you feel empowered. Taking a break from your typical beauty routine is a good way to discover what you value, what you can do without, and what you can tweak to work for you.

Your Self-Care Beauty Routine

Now is the opportune time to experiment with your look. You go for a low maintenance haircut. You can try something new: new colour, going grey, a haircut you’ve wanted but weren’t confident in pulling off, henna freckles, makeup trends, as well as opting for no makeup. What’s important is having fun with your look. 

For many of us beauty care is a form of self-care. Who doesn’t enjoy being pampered? It is incredibly rejuvenating to set aside time for yourself, where the focus is on you and what you want. For some that is getting your hair done or having fun with DIY haircuts.

It’s normal to miss beauty-care services for the therapeutic effects, pampering, relaxation, quality attention, gossip, and experience as well as visual expression. It’s also normal to feel empowered by creating your own beauty self-care and enjoying pampering yourself.

Full Body Beauty Care

Taking a break from in person events or turning video off on Zoom can be an excellent form of beauty self-care. Without the constant pressure to perform, you can experiment and truly discover what works for you in your body. 

Vital components of exercise are both the experience of resistance and relaxation. Yoga Nidra, a form of progressive muscle relaxation, teaches you to move throughout your body by stressing and then relaxing from head to toe of your body. This technique allows you to really notice where you are holding tension, learn about your body, and allow yourself to relax and strengthen. 

Hiding your preview on Zoom or other video chats will help you focus on who you’re talking to instead of being overly self-aware of your image through the lens of a typically non-flattering webcam. It’s also absolutely okay to request phone calls or to turn off your video if you aren’t feeling it. Staring at a computer screen for too long in itself leaves us feeling drained, and it’s important to check in to see how you are reacting to using webcam technology more frequently these days. If you find yourself feeling more insecure, it may be time to take a break and practice more self-care.

We often overlook how vital hydration is to skincare and feeling our best. Drinking plenty of water as well as eating nutritious foods allows our skin to glow. The beauty industry focuses heavily on treatments and what you put on your skin, but you get out what you put in as well. Taking in around 8 8oz glasses of water everyday is as much akin to skin care as exfoliating, moisturizers, and facials. Eating fresh, colourful fruits, vegetables, and nutrient rich foods will leave you looking and feeling more alive.Massage and relaxation amp up our beauty self-care routine and help us connect with our bodies. Whether giving yourself a facial, epsom salt foot soak, manicure, pedicure, or taking a bath, focus on the therapeutic aspects. Creating your own easy sugar, salt or coffee scrub is an excellent way to exfoliate, relax, massage tension out of your body, and get in touch with yourself. Enjoy your experience. Play ambient music or audiobooks. Light candles or burn incense. 

No matter what your beauty care routine is, do it for yourself. Focus on what makes you feel confident and comfortable in your body.

What is your beauty self-care routine? Do you use beauty care to fit in or express yourself? Do you relax and spend time on yourself, for yourself?

Build Your Strength

Look into a mirror and say “I love you” or “I love myself.” Repeat “I love you” for 2 minutes while looking at yourself in the mirror. Alternately you can look into a mirror and say 5 things you like about yourself.Try this exercise everyday for 2 weeks, and see how you feel after 2 weeks.

Navigating Zoom Fatigue and Chronic Fatigue

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by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

“It’s easier being in each other’s presence, or in each other’s absence, than in the constant presence of each other’s absence.”

— Gianpiero Petriglieri

We are all rapidly changing the way we connect with each other.

The upheaval caused by the Covid 19 virus and pandemic forces us to reroute our daily routines, the physical mappings of our lives, and to think more about our physical and virtual interactions. Across several generations, we are all taking part in a dynamic process to discover how to form and maintain genuine connections, to stay close to our connections despite distance, to learn each other’s boundaries, and to participate in a changing world.

Each of us is presented with personal challenges and unique rewards. Most of us have been forced to think differently about the ways we connect, which enables us to form more intentional interactions and can be an opportunity to limit interactions that are less rewarding to us. 

Limited Energy with a Limitless Internet.

Without a regular schedule, time management is challenging. What are your priorities? Dedicated time for light exercise, nutritious foods, mindfulness with our body and feelings, and quality time with our loved ones helps us maintain the rest of our lives. It’s more important than ever to turn off notifications, and set a limited amount of time aside for checking email vs being up at all hours of the night and day checking for messages, news, and alerts.

Maintain Boundaries in An Unboundaried Zone.

It may be healthy at times to turn off the phone, only check emails once or twice a day, and remember you don’t need to respond to everything immediately. It can wait. We can slow our pace. 

Learn to say no.

You don’t have to go to every Zoom hangout, be on call on your phone, or across social networks. If someone suggests something you aren’t comfortable with or interested in, it’s mutually beneficial to suggest something of mutual interest. You can suggest phone calls over video chat or turn off your camera. You are allowed to take breaks to walk around, stretch, look out the window, and take time out for yourself. Doing so will give you more energy to focus your full attention to the task at hand when you come back. Limiting notifications makes it easier to avoid multitasking and getting trapped in constant distraction without devoting your time, energy, or attention to what you are doing. If you need time to yourself, take time to yourself.

Trust Your Body When It Tells You to Stop.

We all know that if we don’t say no, our body will say no for us. In order to avoid chronic fatigue, we learn to respect ourselves, our time, and our energy. Assertive, healthy boundaries help us maintain our health and healthy relationships.

Zoom Fatigue is Real

Exhaustion from screen time, hyper focusing on loads of stimuli, and trying to gauge everyone’s reactions in their individual squares is taking a toll. Not to mention what we often aren’t getting out of Zoom Meetings: we often miss our break room interactions. We are now more aware that we are all in different places, and we miss sharing spaces that are basically anywhere outside of our homes. Our house is now also our home office, gym, and so on. We may not only be missing that in person connection, but we miss spaces that are disconnected from our personal space.

Tips to Reduce Zoom Fatigue

• Limit number of Zoom meetings per day.

• Give yourself plenty of time between meetings.

• Encourage a different means of communication like a phone call or sending information by email. 

• Walking and talking on the phone may be better because you can keep your energy engaged and some people have more creative ideas while they are walking.

• Limit the time you spend in a video chat.

• Prepare a comfortable space and position to sit for video chatting. Have water and what you need on hand. 

• Set up a space that feels somewhat separate from your home with limited visual background distractions.

• Take time before the meeting for a short breathing practice and to connect to your body.

• Turn off your camera, and take breaks from looking at the screen.

• Only turn your screen or microphone on when you are talking to reduce background noise and visual overload.

• Minimize your video so you can focus on who’s talking with fewer visual distractions, self-critiques, and feel more natural and less like you are being watched. We don’t stare into a mirror during a normal face to face interaction. When people look at their video window they feel socially pressured and unconsciously feel the need to perform, which in itself is very tiring.  (Remember your unconscious automatically takes in everything that the eye is able to see.  That’s a lot to digest and process in your conscious mind and your unconscious mind!)

• Use Gallery View to reduce excessive visual information. We don’t need or have the ability to constantly gauge everyone’s reactions, and trying to input so much information is exhausting.

Build Your Strength

When you find yourself on video calls for business, pleasure, or therapy, create a mindful space. Find a place where you create a sense of privacy and separateness for the duration of a meeting...someplace where a closed door ensures privacy.  Give everyone in your household notice on when you’ll be ‘away’ in meetings and ask for their help limiting distractions during those times. 

Some people find sitting upright, cross legged on the floor with a cushion seat in a meditation pose works for them. A chair or position that supports your back and body is important for a session. Set up a simple solid colored or basic background with lighting that is in front of your face and also focused on the side of your face.  This will help prevent dark shadows on your face.  Check how you look in your video test call, and then cover the small picture of yourself so you are not tempted to keep looking at yourself. Remember to dress for your meeting as if you were dressing for attending a face to face meeting.

Take 3 deep breaths and focus on your body before meetings to ground yourself in a physical space.  Relax and come back to those deep breaths throughout your meeting.  Notice where you are holding tension throughout your meeting and continue to breathe through the tension! 

Letting Go of Uncomfortable Feelings

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.”

— Mareez Reyes

It’s easy to stew in uncomfortable feelings and allow emotions to overtake us. Letting go of strong emotions and moving them into positive actions gives us strength to make positive changes in areas that upset us. Strong emotions have power to motivate change.

You’re in a rush because you really want to pick up a surprise for your friend before catching the bus to meet them. You feel great about yourself as you daydream about surprising your friend while catching your breath in line with the perfect gift, when out of nowhere, someone cuts you in the queue. They have loads of items while in the express checkout and are acting the epitome of rude. You are fuming. You clench your jaw and your fists. Every item they ring up and every word they utter sends you further into rage as you force yourself to retain composure. Finally, you check out your single item and move as quickly as you possibly can to catch the bus, which you do not.

Now you’re stuck waiting for the next bus, all because that muppet cut the queue. Your excitement to see your friend evaporates; for now, all your attention is dedicated to mulling over a few choice words you feel you should have said to the queue cutter. Rest assured these critiques are all deserved for making you late and upsetting everyone else’s plans. You were having such a lovely morning, and now everything merely adds to your frustrations. 

All you want is for people to have common courtesy, to mind the queue, to not cut everyone else off in queue with countless items, yet this savage did just that. The nerve of some people is all you can think about in an endless loop of aggravation. You can keep feeling like this all day; you just might. Something about reeling in their countless flaws seems just and deserved. They violated the honor code, the queue code, and common decency. They significantly violated your space and threw off all of your plans for the day. You have a right to be angry, but how is that going to help you when you get to your friend’s party? How can you not be furious? After all, you think you should be upset at the way you were treated.The choice is completely yours. You can stay mad, and carry this cloud into the party; alternatively, you can look at the situation, look at yourself, and examine other options. Being angry is not helping your current situation, after all, you can no longer take it out on the queue cutter who kicked off this whole mess. Pretending everything is honky dory will not do. Let’s face it, to get out of this mood you need to face what’s bothering you.

Identify Your Feelings. What are you feeling? Does it have a name?

Quantify the Feeling. On a scale of 1-10, where would you rate this feeling? Where would you like this feeling to be? What would be a more manageable level?

Locate Where You Feel these Feelings in Your Body. Stress, anger, and tense emotions are held in our body. Some people hold stress in their shoulders and back. Once aware that they raise and tense their shoulders, they can then let go and learn to lower their shoulders away from their ears. Then relax and unclench their jaw. Practicing Autogenic Relaxation Training, Meditation, Yoga, Self Massage, light exercise, stretching, or other body awareness practices will help you fine tune your ability to locate tension throughout your body. You can also become more aware by simply paying attention to yourself and focusing on your body and how different parts move and feel. Where do you feel pain, fear, anger, or resentment? Can you feel it in your face? Untense your face and body. Open and relax your hands. Breathe deep and lower your shoulders away from your ears again.

Identify the Cause of This Feeling. What is wrong? Perhaps you are upset at a person, a situation, or even yourself. Put into words what is going on that led you to feel this way. “I feel frustrated at the muppet who cut in the queue.”

Own Your Feelings. Take full responsibility for how you feel. This doesn’t mean making apologies for other people, taking blame for the situation, or others’ actions. You are only responsible for your own emotions, words, and actions. Give yourself space to feel your emotions. Hold your feelings in a place of respect regardless of if they are positive or negative emotions.

Accept Your Feelings. You feel how you feel. Even though it may not be the feeling you want to be experiencing, honour the reality of how you feel right now. This may sound like: “I feel angry, but I love myself deeply.”

Move Negative Feelings into Positive Actions. What can you do to change this situation or similar situations in the future? You can’t control other people or the situation. You can change the way you prepare, interact, and influence others. You can speak out and change the course of events by speaking up for yourself or advocating for others. Strong emotions like anger exist to scare off threats or jump us into action inorder to protect ourselves.

Be Assertive. Sometimes we feel guilty for not speaking out about injustices until after the situation has passed; luckily we can learn healthy, assertive communication so people are aware of our boundaries. There are various actions we can take to become more assertive and maintain healthy boundaries. 

Ask Yourself What You Are Meant to Learn. Every situation will teach us about ourselves and the world around us. Learning to identify how we feel in the moment is crucial to avoid being overwhelmed by our emotions. As we practice awareness of our emotions, we will be more able to assess the situation and find helpful ways to react.

Let Go. When you are ready, give yourself permission to let go of uncomfortable feelings. “I feel very angry right now, but it is not currently helping me. I no longer need to carry the weight of this feeling so I give myself permission to release my anger.”

Build Your Strength Take a few deep breaths and a moment to thank and honor yourself for your courage to address your feelings. It’s difficult work to step out of your comfort zone, to address uncomfortable feelings, to own your feelings, and use them to take positive action. Love, accept, and honour yourself for taking the responsibility to work with your challenging feelings.

Seven Strategies for Wellbeing: A Guide for Addressing the COVID-19 Outbreak

by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris

We all respond differently to crises. Our emotions, our responses, and reactions are all subject to change unpredictably, as these situations tend to compound by bringing up past traumas. Most of us are experiencing sudden changes in our feelings on loneliness, security, connection to community, obligations, isolation, and privacy. These uncomfortable feelings are completely normal. Coping with chaotic changes to our daily lives along with the added complexity of living with an autoimmune disorder, presents us with new challenges. Know you’re not alone. We’re all connected and in this together.

1. Understand & Accept Challenging Emotions.

Understand there are countless normal emotional responses to a crisis. Try to be compassionate and accepting of yourself and others.

• Fear: Are my loved ones safe and following CDC & WHO precautions? Will we get through this alright? 

• Anger: Why weren’t we prepared? How can that person possibly justify handling this that way? People just don’t understand what people with autoimmune disorders are going through!

• Confusion and Frustration: What am I supposed to do now? Where are we going to live? I have no idea how I’m supposed to take all of this!

• Guilt and Self-Blame: I need to take extra safety precautions, and I feel guilty that this is affecting my responsibilities. I’m not as in control of my emotions and reactions as I’d like to be right now. I should have had a better plan.

• Shame and Humiliation: I compare myself to peers online who are thriving, and I’m embarrassed to admit that I am struggling. I feel humiliated because I’m not sure how I will maintain financially under these circumstances. I’m embarrassed to say that I’m weary of going back to my normal life. 

• Sorrow and Grief: I didn’t get to spend time with everyone before the outbreak. I miss my routine, my neighborhood, and my community. It’s not the same here, and I miss my usual comforts and conveniences.
  

It’s easy to be swept up in worry, panic, negativity, and predict the worst.  In reality we have no way of predicting what challenges and opportunities await. It’s essential to focus on how to make the best of the situation and treat ourselves and those around us with love, respect, patience, and understanding.

2. Maintain Boundaries. It is important for our health to maintain boundaries. People may expect you to be present and quick to jump into action since they themselves are experiencing difficult changes. In order to have the energy to accommodate others, we must first take care of ourselves.

• Be clear and direct. Saying no and letting others know if you are unable to attend or assist shows both self and mutual respect. 

• Auto Responses are great because they allow you to conserve your energy and connect others to resources, while setting boundaries. Who doesn’t love passive work?  “I am typically available between the hours of X and Y, London time. Please allow at least 48 hours for me to get back to you. For an emergency outside of those hours, please contact CONTACT NAME and INFORMATION. Thank you for your understanding as I find ways to balance my obligations during this unique time.”

• Schedule blocks of time for self-care like going for a stroll, catching up with friends, light exercise, reading a book for pleasure, taking a relaxing bath, or meditation, so you can check in with yourself with no interruption as well as block off time for your other responsibilities.

• Ask for help or work on errands together. Feel free to let those relying on you know ways they can help you help them as well.

3. Establish a Routine.

Routines provide structure and a sense of safety, which is important for our physical, emotional, and mental health. These kinds of crises can make us feel unmotivated or powerless, but a routine helps us keep focused and feel like we are in control. Invite the household to contribute to the creation of a daily schedule with fun time, family time, and self-care!

• Handwashing Mantras like: “I show love and respect to myself and others through small, intentional acts.” “I release and cleanse myself of what I do not need or can not control. I am free from the burden of unnecessary fears and anxieties.” Since we are spending time more frequently washing our hands for at least 20 seconds, we may as well reaffirm a commitment to ourselves, our spirit, and our well-being.

• We can create mindful activities around simple tasks to bring our habits into awareness as we try to avoid touching our faces.

4. Light Exercise.

• Maintaining light exercise is important to keep our body fit and moving; especially when we’re battling Fibromyalgia.

• Youtube is one of many great resources; search “Dance for Fibromyalgia.” It’s easy to find Tai Chi, yoga, stretching, and all types of exercises curated to fit your needs. You can even make a playlist of your favorites to keep track of your progress and connect others with fun dance moves.

• Buddy systems can be particularly motivating whether you have a dance party with your household or exercising together from different locations. Try to keep each other accountable to meeting exercise goals. Seek mutual support to cheer each other onto positive routines.

• Consistency is key, don’t overdo it. This will look different depending on you and your body. It may be 15 minutes twice a day or it may be maintaining your normal walking routine even though you are staying home.

• Reach for resistance in your workout, but stop before you feel new pain. 

5. Be Intentional about your News and Social Media Use.

• Set an intention for what you want to accomplish from your experience and how much time you will dedicate. Set a timer and reflect on your intention and experience. I am going to spend 15 minutes on Tumblr looking at adorable animal gifs. My intention is to cheer myself up and unwind.

• Pay attention to your feelings as you scroll through social media, your phone, news, or TV. How are you feeling? If you find yourself regularly getting angry, upset, or losing energy, it’s time to set a time limit or boundary to distance yourself from what is not serving you.

• Avoid comparing yourself to others. We have no way of knowing the full story of what someone else is truly experiencing and the well-manicured lens of social media can lend a distorted view, both positive and negative.

• Taking a few hours offline to unplug for morning routines and night routines can be a helpful way to reduce stress.

• There are apps to keep you on track with managing social media to track or block time for you to stay focused on your goals.

6. Practice Self-Awareness.

• Use Daily Journal Prompts to build your self-awareness like: 

  • How am I feeling today?

  • What do I appreciate/ am I grateful for today?

  • What did I learn today that will help me be a better person/friend/colleague/flatmate?

  • An emotion I experienced today was..., when ... , and I felt this way because…

  • One thing that inspired me today was…

  • What didn’t work out the way I wanted/expected? What can I learn from that experience?

  • One thing I learned about myself today is…

• Join a Peer Support Community for coping with Fibromyalgia, Covid 19, or other challenges you may be facing.

• Weekly check-in sessions: Identify someone you trust who has a constructive point of view and a healthy emotional intelligence. This may be a friend, family member, therapist, or community leader. Make a plan to meet (virtually) once a week to discuss what this crisis is teaching you about yourself, your dynamics with other people, and your community.

7. Connect.

People around the world are presented with new challenges of loneliness and isolation while social distancing and quarantining. Since our immune systems are more vulnerable, we need to be proactive and take extra precaution to take care by both following health guidelines and staying connected for our emotional well-being. 

• Seek online community groups. WeChat, Facebook, Discord, WhatsApp, and other sites have groups specifically for Fibromyalgia and those going through similar experiences. 

• Limit time with draining individuals. We have a limited amount of energy and we need to spend it wisely to avoid burnout and Fibro fog. If you regularly find yourself feeling mentally or emotionally exhausted from interacting with someone, it’s time to form healthy boundaries.

• Be mindful of venting. Whether you are on the venting or receiving end, there are healthy ways to express yourself. Keep in mind how you are feeling. We need to distance ourselves from this activity when it is not serving us. Are we venting to bond, decrease in our stress levels, learn/express perspectives, seek solutions, or just to vent? If venting is not helping, use your emotions to take action and instead contact your representatives, seek help, or strategies to better your life. Take 3 deep breaths and ask yourself:

  • Do I need to complain right now, or is there a better action or activity for this moment?

  • What do I hope to get out of this conversation? Solutions? Understanding? Sympathy? Bonding? (Share your intention with your friend, family, or therapist before you vent).

• Reconnecting with those we care about helps to lift our moods and decrease our stress. Schedule a regular video call with your friends, those in similar situations, or even meet new groups with shared interests. You can play cards, board games, role playing games, and practically any hobby you can imagine online. Dungeons and Dragons is a creative and immersive game that lends itself to all interests from fiction, scifi, fantasy, film, or anything you can imagine. You can join or create a campaign on Roll20’s website. 

• Create fun rituals together from fun activities or add community to humdrum daily rituals like cooking, eating, exercising, or choring together. Your routines can be with flatmates or friends online or over the phone.